CRIMSON AND CLOVER

03 March 2009 @ 09:21 pm

there are three things my friends have in common:

-video games
-growing up here
and
-math, physics and calculus.

thank fucking fuck for iPods.

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16 February 2009 @ 11:56 pm

(no subject)

i need a safe place and this is the only place i could think of.

everything is fucked up right now, basically. my sister grew up without me but she went too fast and i'm not there to hold her hand and let her know that is's okay and that it will be all right and that i love her. my boyfriend is thinking bad thoughts and i'm doing the same, and i'm in love with my best friend who i barely talk to anymore, and i miss malcolm like every single fucking hour of the fucking day, and i ache to be back home, bumming around with Alex, and then I tell myself to cry moar, there are kids starving not only in Africa (I've forgotten Bono's real name- Paul?) but in Canada as well and people are being abused and what? i have a stressful job and am worried about finding the right line between time with my boyfriend and time with my friends.

also, my fucking dog hates my boyfriend. he's really upset about that and i cant do anything to change it because i dont want a fucking dog in the first place, and she thinks she's higher up than me in the ~pack, and oh my god I hope that you're reading this. i hope hope hope oh my god I miss you.

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04 October 2008 @ 11:48 pm

(no subject)

LOL SUP.

So, to anyone who knows Malcolm and has stumbled across this journal, like, turn back right now. For serious. I'm pretty much a very disturbed and creepy child, screwed over by a certain boy you know in a small, shitty town where I had nothing else to do but think about said boy and how much I loved/hated him for a very extended period of time. If your name is in this journal, my most sincere apologies, but I'm far too lazy to go through this thing and edit all ~awkward entries, and too cheap to buy a paid account and change my security settings. Also, this is great for the lulz so I won't be deleting it. To say I've moved on would be halarious, considering I have an entire tag for Malcolm at my new journal, but I won't stalk you or anything anymore. I have other things to worry about, like why Pete Wentz and Mikey Way won't just admit they're still in big stupid love with each other and kiss in front of several cameras, or whether or not Gabe Saporta and Sarah Balliet would have been a compatible couple or casual fuckbuddies.

And, you know, passing grade twelve. PCE OUT

Current Music: Help Me Sleep - Midtown

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02 March 2008 @ 01:20 am

(no subject)

It just crashed!

Malcolm went on a lovely little trip to our nation's capital last week, and came back with a crush! And not just a crush, mind you, but a full-out sitting-with-his-arms-around-her taking-pictures-with-her love! It's so adorable, it makes me want to kill myself.

It was supposed to be me.

Not Becca from Newfoundland.

Current Location: ditto.

Current Music: Old Yellow Bricks - The Arctic Monkeys

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02 March 2008 @ 01:13 am

1:17

Wow! I haven't updated in weeks.

To sum it all up: I have friends.

I have a crush. He's Asian, and his flawless little also Asian girlfriend lives right smack dab in the middle of Vancouver. He plays the guitar. He's nice. He wears pretty clothes. He's on first class honours (so am I, btw) and when he sits with me in Socials, he does his worksheet. We've entered in a cdn history contest together, and we're both going to fail iserably but I don't care, because I like him.

Out of my three new girl friends, two were born in Alberta. Trippy shit.

I have a well-recived MCR fanfiction, and I'm getting into slash. It's like crack, and I love it.

Life's good right now.

*waits for it to crash*

Current Location: my bedroom.

Current Music: Accidents - Alexisonfire

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31 January 2008 @ 08:13 pm

ALLYIE

I TOTALLY FUCKING SAW ALLYIE.
FUCK FUCK FUCK
:D

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29 January 2008 @ 09:02 pm

(no subject)

oh, look at that.

~~Malcolm Smith~~

Relationship Status: In a Relationship with
Erin Blackaby (Thomas Haney Secondary School)

Current Music: Nothingwrong - Jimmy Eat World.

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27 January 2008 @ 11:08 pm

(no subject)

why, hello. i have no idea when it was i last posted, but it was a few weeks, atleast. I was reading - Guess who's! - blog, and felt compelled to update.

Now that I'm here, I'm not really sure what to say. HOw was my trip? It was successfull. Like a business trip. I made some amazing, possibly life-changing purchases, but was I satisfyed? No. I would have much rather hopped a plane and returned to the desolate, snowy wasteland of my birth, to be perfectly honest. But only you and my mother know this, considering I broke out in unwanted tears in front of her.

oh, fuck it. Blogging just ai'nt my thing, anymore. Read my Nex blog if you wanna hax0r mai hed.

btw, American purchases:

Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance by Irvine Welse
Star Wars Jedi vs Sith The Esstential Guide to the Force
two My Chemical Romance t-shirts
a black t-sirt with a printed plaid gee-tar
Heart by Stars

hooray. I'll leave you with my new favourite lyrics.

wide eyed, grinning in the darkened room
sipping cactus brandy from a china spoon
coming in the morning in the afternoon, forgetting.
so tired waiting for the end to come
fully dead already but forever young
hello, my dearest father its your favourite son
theres some things that im regretting

i am destroyer i am lover,
i am destroyer i am lover.
i love one thing, destroy the other.
i am destroyer, i am lover.

a gypsy told my fortune then i told her hers,
i said "youll die high in the mountains wrapped in silver furs.
youll be looking for your lover in the midnight sun
and youll perish for your lover when the frost has begun"
I have a way of seeing and its nearly gone
and nobody was listening so i wrote this song
and when you know the chorus you can sing along
you destroy the thing you love
even though you know its wrong

i am destroyer i am lover
i am destroyer i am lover
why love one thing and not the other?
i am destroyer i am lover, and when i kiss i like to smother....

Current Location: my bedroom. yay internetz!

Current Music: Death to Death - Stars

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20 January 2008 @ 11:34 pm

(no subject)

I can't sleep. Or maybe that it's I don't want to sleep? I don't know. Either way, I'm here.

He is perfect. He is chisled out of goddamn stone. Formed out of wax. He's beautiful. He's exquisite.

He should not have to succumb to me.

I'm sorry.

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15 January 2008 @ 09:21 pm

(no subject)

I'm bored.

I'm so bored I don't even want to like, "pull out the razor."

Wait, is bored the right word?

I'm not really numb. But I'm not bored. I don't know what I am. I don't want to die, but... fuck.

I don't even know if I want to go backwards or fowards in time.

Fuck this. I'm painting and writting my fanfic.

I hate the Simpsons.

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13 January 2008 @ 10:13 pm

(no subject)

I don't understand how you fell in love with me.

I can't type. How on earth did you read what I was saying to you?

I ~~couldn't~~ can't flirt. You... you threw me compliments non-stop, you flirted, you made me feel like something special... and what did I do to you? Nothing. Told you I loved you, occasionally, but nothing more. I am so, so sorry.

God fucking damn it, you were the biggest fuck up of my entire life.

I really, really, miss you.

"remeber, when you move to van, we are so dating."

I really miss you.

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13 January 2008 @ 12:31 pm

(no subject)

life is aaaaaaaaaaaaaegvbvuvwbd.

i don't even know.

i am one meeeeessed up little girl.

but hey, atleast i have frankie and mikey and gee and bob and ray.

i love them more that i love you.

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10 January 2008 @ 04:13 pm

(no subject)

i think that there is a conspiracy.

Burd added me, like, when I first got facebook.
how did he find me?
Now, there's whole Malcolm and Anthony thing.
*rubs chin all itellectual-like*

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09 January 2008 @ 10:33 pm

(no subject)

i promise not to delete this, or edit it.

i think i'm possibly bi-polar.

in other news, Malcolm and Anthony have reconciled and are now Facebook friends. It made me cry, actually. Not kidding. I cried for the first time in a very long time tonight. It wasn't as liberating as I expected it to be, in fact I almost feel worse, because I look and feel like shit, and cried looking into the hazel eyes of the man I love who, by the way, doesn't know I'm alive.

if anybody has like, a shitload of money they can wire me so I can get out of this dump and back to some familiar & friendly faces, that would be awesome.

This Malcolm/Ant thing is really throwing me off. Not only did Malcolm hate Ant, but I've been off Ant's friends list for ages, and Malcolm's been off mine for nine days. Malcolm is not friends with Damo, and Ant's friend list in composed of like six kids from the U.K. Where did they find each other?

If one of you is reading this, explain plz
also
don't talk about me
k thnx

so. it's 10:42. I think I'll go watch like, Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two Of Us or something, even though I watched it insted of Romeo + Juliet today. LEONARD WHITING LOOKS LIKE ZAC EFRON

Current Location: the new house, the office/family room/den...thing.

Current Music: I have "Calculation Theme" by Metric stuck in my head.

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30 December 2007 @ 10:10 pm

kk.

good morning, good night. it's actually like 10:10 pm... whatever. I've not been updating lately. My apologies, but as my new icon states, my life is preeeeeetty boring.

Christmas wasn't half as awkward as I was worried it would be. We had a fire in the fireplace (first time in my entire life) and.. yeah. Lotsa fun. As well, on Boxing Day, I got to see Steve and Angela, though I spent a majority of the party sitting on the couch with my mom, and then once I finally said "fuck this," and went to talk with a British woman, I was dragged back to the living room by a seven year old who wanted to play with me. Nobody can figure out why she demanded I come with her - It was my mom who originally played with her. So then she left, so I left, and hung out with some people my age. Gasp! Oh, well, okay. The little girl - Macy, I think - was riding on of Zofia's new toys, a littler play skool car type thing. So I would grab onto the back and pretend she actually pulled me off the couch. So the last time, I pretended my hand was stuck to the handle. So she dragged me halfway through the house, and then we at the end of the hall, and I just barely peeked though this one door. And there was a guy. My age. I've never snapped up so quickly in my entire life. But it was awkward coming up with an explanation to Macy, haha. but yeah... I hung out with them for awhile, and went through this one girl's iPod. Fun fun.

For Christmas, my most exciting present was iPod speakers. I've already gotten their money's worth out if them. :p

So... Um... I went to P.S. i love you with Aleasha tonight. It was good. I cried. Serious Darius flashbacks.

It's new year's even tomorrow, eh? wow. this time last year, I was madly in love with Darius. Silly, isn't it? I called him at like, nine, and we talked till midnight. He gave me this huge, noisy and most likely sloppy kiss at midnight, then he had to go. *sigh.* This year, it'll be me, and, well, me. Alex's gone and gotten herself grounded till March, and Kat'll be off with Brett. I mean, I guess I should be fine with it... but whatever. I'll find something to do - watch My Chemical Romance movies. That's what I've been doing for days - going through photbucket and nicking MCR photos and icons. Seriosly fun.

Anyways.... I watched Fight Club last night, and The Bourne Ultimatum before that. Bourne... meh. Liked the first one way better. And Fight Club... *speechless*

k, fuck this, i'll be staring at an open, unblinking conversation if you need me.

Current Location: the new house, the office/family room/den...thing.

Current Music: Our Lady of Sorrows - My Chemical Romance

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27 December 2007 @ 02:02 am

(no subject)

happy two-oh-two am, i'm up reading my chemical romance fanfiction and jacking my chemical romance icons.

whatever.

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22 December 2007 @ 09:04 pm

(no subject)

Let's just say... I'm a fucking disaster.

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21 December 2007 @ 11:15 pm

a bullet in your what?

tonight was fun, if you can believe it.

so much happened, i'm way too tired to post about it all. I actually bought myself new shirts... freaked myself out with that one. I was seriously considering buying you-know-who a drawing of his favourte band but decided against it for many reasons. one of them being that a certain guitarist was without a very famous hat. anyways. we went to timmie ho's afterwards, and joel went home, and shar was like "i think he's just being shy." so i was kinda happy, but my mom was like "so you'll get as far with him as you did with malcolm." i can't effing believe she said that. like, how fucking unfair is that? nobody should ever be compared to him, especially joel, who didn't say a word directly to me all evening. and then i considered buying a (RED) t-shirt in order to impress him (not joel, you-know-who), but seriously, no. oh, and aaron's favourite band is u2 too. so that's kinda odd yet cool.

i watched like ten minutes of death note... it was the most boring thing i've ever sat through. it was awful.

anyways... i might blog about my school day later... just know that it was very boring...

and none of my apps on facebook are working. maybe i'll just go to sleep. yes. sleep. &hearts;

Current Music: Don't Shoot Me Santa - The Killers

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19 December 2007 @ 08:13 pm

(no subject)

I am going to seriously injure somebody soon.

I can't even write. I've got HP fanfiction and a Twilight-style novel boiling under my skin, but I refuse to write my hp ff until I've finished the seventh book and my twilight sounds like absolute SHIT. I also can't decide what kind of relationship i had with the main vampire (which is you-know-who, Jen) previous to finding out he was a vampire. Or what traits he has. Can he go out in the sun? y/n. Can he be around garlic? y/n. Can he live off animal blood, or are there special blood banks for him (the latter stolen from the Argeneau series by Lynsay Sands.)? Or does he still have to go off human blood? Are his teeth out all the time?

Fuck this, I'm crawling into bed and never leaving.

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17 December 2007 @ 10:31 pm

Team Smi- er, Cullen

for the record:

it's not that i think he is edward, i simply believe that he is a vampire of the edward cullen variety.

oh fuck, i'll just say it. I would take him over Cullen any day. Greek God-like vamp or not.

Current Location: hell.

Current Music: When You Were Young - The Killers

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